February 03, 2004 - 7:54 p.m.
I finally found a use for the Super Bowl! Theme park visits!
A few months ago, Matt had the brilliant idea of attending Six Flags Magic Mountain on Super Bowl Sunday. The basic concept was that most of the populace would spend the day in front of their televisions, making for one very empty theme park without long lines. The only problem with this plan as it was originally concieved is that none of us knew when the Super Bowl was.
That's right: a group of guys, sitting around, could not come up with a date for the Super Bowl. I couldn't ask for a better group of friends. Well, of course I COULD, but then I'd get smacked with one of those karmic learn-to-appreciate-what-you've-got things again.
Turns out Matt is brilliant. All of our sports-event-challenged friends cited monetary reasons for flaking out the day before, so it was just me, Laurie and Matt. Our respectably wacky coworker Brian had told us he was planning the same scheme, but he didn't show up for the last couple days of the work week and we had doubts he would be there. Yet Matt spotted his car in the parking lot before we'd even entered it, which should tell you something about how crowded the park wasn't. We met up with Brian and his girlfianceefriendthing at the gates.
Last time I went to Six Flags, I... neglected completely to write about it in my diary. See, that was supposed to be a link to an entry about Six Flags, then a comma, and then a satisfying conclusion to the sentence. But it turns out I can't link to that entry, because I didn't write it. For all my snide comments about having a boring life consisting entirely of Laurie and video games, it would appear that I still manage to sneak in some exciting times entirely unbeknownst to you.
So here, I'll make it knownst: on New Year's Eve, I went to Six Flags with some friends who had expiring coupons. It turned out that every citizen of California has expiring coupons as well, and each and every single one was in line ahead of us. We arrived when the park opened, and left a half hour after the advertised closing time, and managed in those hours to ride TWO ATTRACTIONS. There are no people I'd rather be trapped in forced conversation with, but still, in the queue for the second ride I was trying very hard to destroy with Eyeball Jealousy Lasers a man who had, unlike me, remembered to bring his Game Boy Advance SP.
But I love roller coasters so much that when all is said and done I don't mind wait times, in hours, measured in numbers that come close to requiring a 'tens place.' And when I got back home I had the pleasure of pausing my game of Paper Mario to wake up my girl for a most enjoyable New Year's Smooch. So it all turned out okay in the end.
Except for one thing: Laurie missed out on Batman: The Ride.
Laurie has a thing for Batman. And that thing is "unrelenting, all-encompassing devotion." She can realistically assess the worth of a Batman-related product, so her devotion is not mindless, but her love for the core character has not faded since reading those first comics as a young girl. But she hadn't been to Six Flags since the construction of Viper, which she estimated to be five years ago but is closer to a million. And there had been a Batman: The Ride-shaped hole in her heart since.
Well, maybe I'm exaggerating, but still, I was determined to get her on that ride, and when we got off our second coaster AFTER park operating hours, I had to admit it wasn't going to happen that time.
It happened this time, though! I made sure to downplay the interestingness of X, the most interesting ride in the park, in order to convince everyone else to run to Batman with us. Fortunately all my friends tend to be slackers, and avoid, as do I, making any decisions. The decision having been made, we headed for Batman, although (again: slackers) I had to compromise on a leisurely strolling pace rather than actual running.
When we got to the unambitiously themed Batcave, we filed into the lane for the very front of the train. And immediately passed by the zero people waiting ahead of us and boarded the ride. Had we remained in our seats afterward, we would have been treated to a second ride. THAT is how awesome the idea of visiting Six Flags on Super Bowl Sunday turned out being.
It took about four hours for the smile on Laurie's face to fade to a simple grin. We even got to play DDR Extreme immediately after, as I spotted its green marquee from Gotham City. Roller coaster + DDR + Laurie = I could experience seven days consisting of nothing but stubbing my toes on a sturdy table and still be honestly able to say that I'd had a pretty good week.
I wanted to try to ride every operating attraction in the park, but after Psyclone-- a mere two attractions away from my goal-- the slackers made me shave it down to "rides that don't hurt." Whatever, I love being slammed around by wood and steel. So long as I don't hit my head, I'm having the time of my life. Which reminds me, don't bother with Viper. They've really let that one go. They should just rename it Instant Migraine (or Son of Flashback) and be done with it.
Oh yeah. New ride called Scream. Most generic name possible (after "coaster" and "ride"), most incredibly fun thing ever. Also: NO LINE.
How often do you get to run around after exiting the newest ride at the park and immediately strap in again? Answer: once a year, when the rest of the nation is gasping as though they have never, ever seen a boobie before.
